Taking Family to Court

Navigating the Storm: Taking Family to Court, Seeking Justice, and Fostering Peace

Family is often seen as a sanctuary—a place of love, support, and unbreakable bonds. Yet, for many, family can also be a source of deep conflict, betrayal, and pain. When disputes escalate to the point of legal action, the decision to take family to court can feel like a seismic fracture in the foundation of those relationships. The drama and conflicts that arise in these situations are complex, emotionally charged, and fraught with moral dilemmas. This blog post explores the dynamics of taking family to court, the necessity of justice, the importance of correcting harmful behaviors, and the delicate balance of fostering mercy and peace in the aftermath.

The Painful Decision to Take Family to Court

The choice to pursue legal action against a family member is rarely made lightly. It often comes after years of unresolved conflicts, broken trust, or egregious wrongs that can no longer be ignored. Whether it’s a dispute over inheritance, allegations of abuse, financial fraud, or neglect, the decision to involve the legal system signals that all other avenues—communication, mediation, or forgiveness—have been exhausted or deemed insufficient.

The emotional toll of this decision cannot be overstated. Families are bound by shared history, memories, and often love, even when relationships are strained. Taking a sibling, parent, or child to court can feel like a betrayal of those bonds, even if the action is justified. The person initiating the lawsuit may grapple with guilt, fear of judgment from other relatives, or the dread of permanently severing ties. Meanwhile, the accused family member may feel attacked, betrayed, or unfairly targeted, leading to defensiveness and further escalation.

For example, consider a scenario where siblings are embroiled in a dispute over their late parents’ estate. One sibling believes another has manipulated the will or mismanaged funds, leading to a lawsuit. The courtroom becomes a battleground where old wounds—favoritism, jealousy, or past betrayals—are reopened. The drama unfolds not just in legal filings but in heated phone calls, tense family gatherings, and whispered gossip among relatives. The conflict can ripple outward, forcing other family members to take sides, creating factions and deepening divisions.

The Roots of Family Conflict

Family disputes that escalate to legal action often stem from deeper, longstanding issues. These conflicts are rarely about one isolated incident but rather a culmination of unresolved grievances. Common triggers include:

- Inheritance and Financial Disputes: Money is a frequent flashpoint. Disagreements over wills, trusts, or property distribution can unearth feelings of entitlement, favoritism, or greed. A sibling who feels cheated out of their “fair share” may pursue legal action, believing it’s the only way to rectify the injustice.

  - Abuse or Neglect: Allegations of physical, emotional, or financial abuse can lead to court cases, particularly when vulnerable family members, such as children or the elderly, are involved. These cases are especially painful because they expose private, often hidden, family dysfunction to public scrutiny.

- Business Disputes: When families run businesses together, conflicts over management, profits, or roles can spill into the courtroom. These disputes often blend personal and professional grievances, making resolution even more complex.

- Divorce and Custody Battles: Family court is a common arena for disputes between ex-spouses or partners, but extended family members—grandparents, aunts, or uncles—may also become entangled in legal battles over custody or visitation rights.

At the heart of these conflicts is often a breakdown in communication and trust. Families may avoid addressing issues directly, allowing resentment to fester until it erupts into a legal confrontation. Cultural expectations of loyalty and “keeping things in the family” can exacerbate the problem, as individuals feel pressured to tolerate harmful behavior rather than confront it.

The Necessity of Justice

Taking a family member to court is often an act of seeking justice—a way to hold someone accountable for their actions and to protect oneself or others from further harm. Justice is essential because it establishes boundaries, upholds fairness, and ensures that wrongs are addressed. Without justice, harmful behaviors can persist unchecked, perpetuating cycles of pain and dysfunction.

For instance, in cases of financial exploitation—such as a family member draining a shared bank account or forging signatures on legal documents—legal action may be the only way to recover losses and prevent future violations. Similarly, in situations involving abuse or neglect, court intervention can provide protection, whether through restraining orders, custody arrangements, or criminal charges. These measures are not just punitive; they are corrective, signaling that certain behaviors are unacceptable and must stop.

However, justice in the family context is rarely black-and-white. The legal system is designed to adjudicate facts and enforce laws, but it often struggles to address the emotional and relational complexities of family disputes. A court ruling may resolve a financial dispute or award custody, but it cannot heal the underlying wounds or restore trust. Moreover, the adversarial nature of litigation can deepen animosity, making reconciliation even more challenging.

Correcting Harmful Behaviors

One of the core purposes of pursuing justice is to correct harmful behaviors. Excusing or ignoring wrongs—whether out of loyalty, fear, or a desire to avoid conflict—can enable destructive patterns to continue. For example, a family member who repeatedly borrows money without repaying it may need to face legal consequences to understand the seriousness of their actions. Similarly, in cases of abuse, court-ordered interventions like therapy or restraining orders can serve as a wake-up call, prompting the offender to seek help or change their behavior.

Correcting harmful behaviors requires clarity and courage. It means acknowledging that love for a family member does not mean tolerating their harmful actions. It also means recognizing that accountability is not the same as punishment. A lawsuit or legal intervention can be a tool for setting boundaries and encouraging change, rather than simply seeking retribution.

However, correction is not guaranteed. Some family members may double down on their behavior, refusing to acknowledge their wrongs or take responsibility. In such cases, the pursuit of justice may lead to a permanent estrangement—a painful but sometimes necessary outcome to protect one’s well-being.

The Drama of Family Court

The courtroom is a stage where family drama is laid bare. Legal proceedings amplify emotions, as private grievances are aired in a public forum. Lawyers may highlight the most damning evidence, witnesses may reveal long-held secrets, and judges may issue rulings that feel like a judgment on the family itself. For those involved, the experience can be humiliating, exhausting, and deeply divisive.

The drama is not confined to the courtroom. Family members not directly involved in the lawsuit may feel compelled to weigh in, offering unsolicited advice or choosing sides. Social media can exacerbate the conflict, with relatives venting frustrations or rallying support online. Posts on platforms like X may reveal the raw emotions at play—anger, hurt, or pleas for understanding—further complicating the family dynamic.

For example, a 2023 post on X described a woman suing her brother for mismanaging their parents’ estate, lamenting how the lawsuit had “torn the family apart.” Responses ranged from sympathy to criticism, with some urging her to “let it go” for the sake of peace, while others supported her pursuit of justice. This public airing of grievances illustrates how family disputes can spill into broader social arenas, amplifying the drama and stakes.

Balancing Justice with Mercy

The pursuit of justice does not preclude mercy. In fact, true peace within a family often requires both. Justice ensures that wrongs are addressed and boundaries are set, but mercy allows for healing and the possibility of reconciliation. This balance is delicate and highly individual, depending on the nature of the conflict and the willingness of those involved to repair the relationship.

Mercy in this context does not mean excusing harmful behavior or forgoing accountability. Instead, it means approaching the situation with empathy, recognizing that family members are human, flawed, and often acting out of their own pain or limitations. For example, a sibling who mismanaged an estate may have done so out of desperation or ignorance rather than malice. Understanding their motivations can open the door to forgiveness, even as legal consequences are enforced.

Fostering mercy also involves self-reflection. The person pursuing legal action must examine their own motives—whether they seek justice for the sake of fairness or out of anger and vengeance. Honest introspection can help ensure that the pursuit of justice serves a constructive purpose, rather than fueling a cycle of retaliation.

Pathways to Peace

Peace in the aftermath of a family lawsuit is not guaranteed, but it is possible. The process begins with acknowledging that peace does not mean returning to the way things were. Instead, it means finding a new equilibrium—one that respects boundaries, acknowledges past wrongs, and allows for healing where possible.

Here are some steps families can take to move toward peace:

1. Open Communication: If possible, create space for honest, non-confrontational dialogue. Mediation or family therapy can provide a neutral setting to airing grievances and work toward understanding.

2. Set Clear Boundaries: Legal action often establishes boundaries, but families must maintain them after the case is resolved. This might mean limiting contact with a toxic family member or agreeing on clear rules for future interactions.

3. Seek Professional Support: Therapists, counselors, or mediators can help families navigate the emotional fallout of a lawsuit. They can also guide individuals in processing their own feelings of anger, guilt, or grief.

4. Practice Forgiveness: Forgiveness does not mean condoning harmful actions; it means releasing the emotional burden of resentment. This can be a personal choice, even if reconciliation with the other party is not possible.

5. Focus on the Future: While the past cannot be undone, families can choose to focus on building healthier relationships moving forward. This might involve creating new traditions, prioritizing mutual respect, or letting go of unrealistic expectations.

The Role of Community and Faith

For many, community and faith play a vital role in navigating family conflicts and legal battles. Support from friends, extended family, or religious communities can provide emotional strength and perspective. Faith traditions often emphasize both justice and mercy, offering guidance on how to balance accountability with compassion. For example, many spiritual teachings advocate for holding wrongdoers accountable while leaving room for redemption—a principle that can guide families through the turmoil of legal disputes.

 Conclusion

Taking a family member to court is one of the most challenging decisions anyone can face. It is a journey fraught with drama, conflict, and emotional upheaval. Yet, it is also an opportunity to seek justice, correct harmful behaviors, and lay the groundwork for peace. While the legal system can provide resolution, true healing requires a commitment to mercy, self-reflection, and the courage to redefine family relationships on healthier terms.

There can be no peace without justice, but justice without mercy risks perpetuating division. By holding family members accountable while fostering empathy and forgiveness, it is possible to navigate the storm of family conflict and emerge with a sense of closure, if not complete reconciliation. The path is never easy, but it is one worth walking for the sake of truth, healing, and the hope of a more peaceful future.

The Inspiring Life and Legacy of St. Maria Goretti: A Beacon of Purity and Forgiveness

The Inspiring Life and Legacy of St. Maria Goretti: A Beacon of Purity and Forgiveness

St. Maria Goretti, one of the youngest canonized saints in the Catholic Church, is a powerful example of faith, purity, and forgiveness. Born into poverty on October 16, 1890, in Corinaldo, Italy, Maria’s short life was marked by profound virtue and an unwavering commitment to God, culminating in her martyrdom at the age of 11. Her story continues to inspire millions, offering lessons in courage, mercy, and devotion that resonate across generations. This blog post explores her life, her heroic death, and her enduring legacy, drawing on historical accounts and reflections from Catholic sources. A Life of Simplicity and Faith Maria Teresa Goretti was the third of seven children born to Luigi and Assunta Goretti, a poor farming family in rural Italy. The Gorettis faced relentless hardship, moving multiple times in search of better opportunities. By the time Maria was six, the family relocated to Colle Gianturco, near Paliano, and later to Le Ferriere in the Pontine Marshes, a region notorious for its malaria-infested swamps. When Maria was nine, her father succumbed to malaria, leaving her mother to provide for the family. Maria, despite her young age, took on significant responsibilities, managing household chores and caring for her younger siblings while her mother and older siblings worked in the fields. Though she never learned to read or write due to her family’s poverty, Maria’s faith was profound. She was deeply devoted to the Virgin Mary, often praying the Rosary for her father’s soul and visiting the shrine of Our Lady of Graces during trips to nearby villages. Her cheerful obedience and piety were evident to those around her, and she prepared diligently for her First Holy Communion at age 11, an event that deepened her spiritual commitment. A Martyr for Purity On July 5, 1902, Maria’s life took a tragic turn. The Gorettis shared a home with another family, the Serenellis, including 20-year-old Alessandro Serenelli. Alessandro had made repeated advances toward Maria, which she consistently rejected. On that fateful day, while Maria was sewing and watching her younger sister, Alessandro approached her with impure intentions. When she refused, declaring, “No! It is a sin! God does not want it!” and warned him of the spiritual consequences, Alessandro became enraged. He stabbed her 14 times, inflicting severe wounds to her heart, lungs, and intestines. Maria was rushed to a hospital in Nettuno, where doctors attempted surgery without anesthesia. Despite her agony, she remained steadfast, forgiving Alessandro and expressing her desire for him to join her in heaven. She died the following day, July 6, 1902, at the age of 11 years, 9 months, and 21 days. Her final words, “Yes, for the love of Jesus I forgive him... and I want him to be with me in Paradise,” reflected her extraordinary mercy. Alessandro’s Conversion and Maria’s Canonization Alessandro was arrested and sentenced to 30 years in prison. Initially unrepentant, he underwent a profound transformation after a dream in which Maria appeared to him, offering 14 white lilies—one for each of her wounds—symbolizing her forgiveness. This vision, occurring about six years into his sentence, marked the beginning of his conversion. After serving 27 years, Alessandro was released and sought forgiveness from Maria’s mother, Assunta, who graciously forgave him, saying she could not withhold what Maria had given. In a remarkable moment, Alessandro and Assunta attended Christmas Mass together at Maria’s shrine, receiving Communion side by side. Maria’s cause for canonization progressed rapidly. The process began in 1935, with Alessandro among the witnesses testifying to her sanctity. On April 27, 1947, she was beatified, and on June 24, 1950, Pope Pius XII canonized her in a historic outdoor ceremony at St. Peter’s Square, attended by over 500,000 people, including Assunta and Alessandro. Maria became the youngest officially recognized saint in the Catholic Church, celebrated for her martyrdom and purity. Legacy and Relevance Today St. Maria Goretti is the patron saint of purity, rape victims, young women, youth, and forgiveness. Her feast day, celebrated on July 6, was added to the General Roman Calendar in 1969. Her story resonates deeply in a world grappling with issues of sexual violence, purity, and forgiveness. Pope John Paul II, in a 2003 Angelus address, praised Maria as a model for youth, emphasizing that her life demonstrates the courage and sacrifice required to remain faithful to God’s commandments. Maria’s story also challenges modern perspectives on virginity and consent. While some contemporary voices question the emphasis on her physical purity, arguing it may overshadow her agency or imply victim-blaming, Catholic teaching underscores that Maria’s martyrdom was rooted in her defense of virtue and her concern for Alessandro’s soul. As noted in the *National Catholic Register*, Maria’s protest was not only about her own dignity but also about preventing Alessandro from committing a mortal sin. Her forgiveness transformed his life, illustrating the redemptive power of mercy. Her relics are housed in the Basilica of Nostra Signora delle Grazie e Santa Maria Goretti in Nettuno, where pilgrims visit to honor her. Contrary to some claims, her body is not incorrupt; her skeletal remains are preserved in a wax statue. Sites related to her life, including her birthplace in Corinaldo and the locations in Colle Gianturco and Nettuno, remain places of pilgrimage. Lessons from St. Maria Goretti Maria’s life offers timeless lessons: 1. Faith in Simplicity: Despite her lack of formal education, Maria’s trust in God was unwavering, reminding us that holiness is accessible to all. 2. Courage in Adversity: Her refusal to compromise her values, even at the cost of her life, inspires steadfastness in the face of temptation. 3. Power of Forgiveness: Maria’s forgiveness of Alessandro, even as she lay dying, demonstrates the transformative nature of mercy. 4. Purity as a Virtue: In a hyper-sexualized culture, Maria’s commitment to chastity challenges us to uphold dignity and respect for the body. 5. Intercession for Healing: As patroness of rape victims, Maria’s intercession offers hope and healing to survivors of abuse. Conclusion St. Maria Goretti’s life, though brief, shines as a testament to the strength of faith and the beauty of forgiveness. Her story is not just one of tragedy but of triumph—over sin, despair, and even death. As we reflect on her legacy, we are invited to emulate her courage, purity, and mercy in our own lives. Whether facing personal trials or societal pressures, Maria’s example encourages us to remain faithful to God and to extend forgiveness, even in the most difficult circumstances. St. Maria Goretti, pray for us.

References - Franciscan Media, “Saint Maria Goretti,” www.franciscanmedia.org [](https://www.franciscanmedia.org/saint-of-the-day/saint-maria-goretti/)

- Catholic News Agency, “St. Maria Goretti,” www.catholicnewsagency.com [](https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/saint/st-maria-goretti-530)

- Franciscan Media, “Purity & Purpose: The Brief Life of St. Maria Goretti,” www.franciscanmedia.org [](https://www.franciscanmedia.org/franciscan-spirit-blog/purity-and-purpose-the-brief-life-of-st-maria-goretti/)

- Wikipedia, “Maria Goretti,” en.wikipedia.org [](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maria_Goretti)

- National Catholic Register, “The St. Maria Goretti Conundrum,” www.ncregister.com [](https://www.ncregister.com/blog/the-st-maria-goretti-conundrum) - Maria Goretti Network, “St. Maria Goretti Story,” mgoretti.org [](https://mgoretti.org/mgstory) - National Catholic Register, “St. Maria Goretti — A Martyr More Relevant Today Than Ever,” www.ncregister.com [](https://www.ncregister.com/blog/st-maria-goretti-martyr-more-relevant-today-than-ever) - Catholic Apostolate Center Feast Days, “St. Maria Goretti,” www.catholicapostolatecenterfeastdays.org [](https://www.catholicapostolatecenterfeastdays.org/feast-days-and-solemnities/st-maria-goretti)

- Catholic Mom, “5 Lessons from St. Maria Goretti,” www.catholicmom.com [](https://www.catholicmom.com/articles/5-lessons-from-st.-maria-goretti)

- Gaudium Magazine, “Hope and Forgiveness: The Story of Alessandro Serenelli and St. Maria Goretti,” www.gaudiummag.com [](https://www.gaudiummag.com/p/hope-and-forgiveness-the-story-of)

- Catholic Saint Medals, “About St. Maria Goretti,” catholicsaintmedals.com [](https://catholicsaintmedals.com/saints/st-maria-goretti/)

- Church Pop, “7 Things to Know About the Beautiful Saint Maria Goretti,” www.churchpop.com [](https://www.churchpop.com/7-things-to-know-about-the-beautiful-saint-maria-goretti-model-of-chastity-forgiveness/)

- National Catholic Register, “Now More Than Ever, St. Maria Goretti Is a Sign of Contradiction,” www.ncregister.com[](https://www.ncregister.com/blog/st-maria-goretti-saints-and-art)

'Through my fault..My Most Grievous Fault' -Breast Striking

Let's explore the striking of the breast during the penitential rite of the Mass and the significance behind it. We will also focus on how it can help during Lent. 

The Striking of the Breast: A Liturgical Act

The practice of striking one's breast during specific moments in the Mass is a liturgical act prescribed in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. It occurs at several points both as required by the rubric and in other places as local custom:

1. During the Confiteor: When we say, "Through my fault," we strike our breast three times.

The name "Confiteor" comes from the Latin word meaning "I confess." This prayer is an essential preparation for our participation in the Mass. While Catholics have the Sacrament of Reconciliation for mortal sins and venial sins, the Confiteor allows us to express contrition for our venial sins before receiving the Eucharist. 

Striking of the Breast: When reciting the Confiteor, we say, "Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault." At each mention of "through my fault," we strike our breast with our right hand each time we say fault (3). This gesture signifies sincere sorrow and admission of sinfulness.

2. At the Nobis Quoque Peccatoribus: Again, we strike our breast once.

This action though required by priests and concelebrants when using the Roman Canon is sometimes done by other lay people out of local custom.

3. At the Agnus Dei: We repeat this action three times.

Again, this may be done under local custom.

4. At the Domine, Non-Sum Dignus: Once more, we strike our breasts three times.

Also done by local custom or by religious orders such as the Franciscans or Carmelites. 

The celebrant (usually a priest) performs this action with a bowed head, moderately and without noise. The rubrics are silent on whether to use curved or fully extended fingers, but after the consecration, only the last three fingers should touch the breast (since the thumb and index finger must not come in contact with the chasuble).

These externals help us to pray physically. The Catholic liturgy is unique in that manner. We pray using not only our minds, and hearts, via words, semantically, with our lips, and voices, but also our bodies.  It conveys that our entire being is worshiping God and acting in totality to please God and ask for forgiveness.  

Jesus said to love God with our entire being (Matthew 22:37, Luke 10:27, Mark 12:28–31), so the Mass literally brings us all to do this.  Moreover, in the Bible numbers have meanings. This is called the Gematria.  The number 3 represents fullness, harmony, or completion.  We ask God for complete forgiveness and ask to be in harmony with the Blessed Trinity. 

We strike our breasts three times during the Confiteor not only because the word "fault" is said three times, but also in reparation for Simon Peter's denial of Christ (Luke 22:55–62; Matthew 26:69–75; Mark 14:66–72). God is Three Divine Persons in One God, so when we sin we offend all Three Persons. In light of this, we strike our breast three times to make reparation for the sins against the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as well.  

Biblical Roots and Symbolism

1. Biblical Repetition: The Catholic Mass is thoroughly biblical. In Hebrew, there is no way to express superlatives or emphasis by adding endings to words (such as "big, bigger, biggest"). Instead, repetition conveys emphasis. For example:

   - Isaiah's vision of angels crying out "Holy, Holy, Holy!" (which we repeat at every Mass).

   - Peter's threefold denial of Jesus.

   - Jesus asking Peter "do you love me?" three times (John 21).

Striking one's breast has biblical roots. In Jeremiah 31:19 (Old Testament), we find, "I turn in repentance; I have come to myself, I strike my breast; I blush with shame, I bear the disgrace of my youth." In Luke 18:13 (New Testament), Jesus tells the parable of the tax collector who stood afar off, beat his breast, and prayed for God's mercy. So we see the biblical roots and significance of striking one's breast out of repentance. 

2. Emphasizing Our Faults: By returning to a threefold admission of our fault ("through my fault"), we emphasize that sin is not casual or inconsequential. It is grievous because God has given us everything, even sacrificing His only Son for us. Our love for God should be wholehearted.

3. Contrition and Change: When we fail to love God fully—whether through neglecting our duty or hurting others—we need contrition. Contrition leads not to despair but to change.

Early Christian Practice

The early Christians were familiar with striking their breasts during specific moments:

- When sensual sins were mentioned.

- At "Forgive us our trespasses" in the Pater Noster.

- In detestation of the crime of the Jews (in Jesus' time) when they said to Christ, "Thou hast a devil."

St. Augustine explained that striking our breasts reveals what is concealed in our hearts and helps cleanse hidden sins. St. Jerome also affirmed this practice as a way to purify our hearts. Augustine writes:

What is repentance, after all, but being angry with oneself? What’s the idea of beating your breast if you aren’t just pretending? Why beat it if you aren’t angry with it? So when you beat your breast you are being angry with your heart in order to make amends to your Lord. This is also how we can understand the text “Be angry and do not sin.” Be angry because you have sinned, and by punishing yourself to stop sinning. Give your heart a shaking by repentance, and this will be a sacrifice to God.

– St Augustine, 5th century: SERMON 19,2

St. Augustine noted that when we hear the word "Confiteor," we strike our breast to bring hidden sins to light and purify our hearts. We show that we are blaming ourselves for the sins against God and our neighbor. It points with our hands or fists to where they originate, the inner being, the heart.  It is "our fault," no one else's.  We sinned, no one else sinned for us or on our behalf.  We take full responsibility (remember: 3 means completion in the Bible gematria) for our sins so we strike 3 times. 

So when you strike your breast during Mass, remember that it symbolizes repentance and emphasizes that sin is serious—a matter deserving of contrition and change. This practice is a sign of penance and humility—a way to prepare our hearts before receiving Christ in the Eucharist.

Remember this during Lent and all throughout the year. These actions at Mass are not vain empty actions the Church added to embellish the Liturgy. No! They are physical actions that convey a deeper meaning a deeper action in regards to repenting, accepting responsibility for our sins, and asking God to forgive us and Our Lady, the saints, angels, and everyone else to pray for us to the Lord our God. These actions can help us immensely during this Lent and throughout the year as we focus on Jesus and His Resurrection on Easter Sunday. 

What do you think? Post your comments below on Disqus.  Be sure to follow the rules so your comment can be allowed to be posted.  

Sources:

- [Catholic Answers Encyclopedia]

St. Augustine of Hippo, SERMON 19,2

Roman Missal -GIRM

https://www.ncregister.com/blog/catholic-calisthenics

https://www.newadvent.org/cathen/02751a.htm

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=472126300770743

https://www.newliturgicalmovement.org/2015/12/beat-your-own-breast.html

https://www.ewtn.com/catholicism/library/breastbeating-during-the-confiteor-4607

https://www.ewtn.com/catholicism/library/breastbeating-4796

https://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/view.cfm?id=516

https://www.catholic.org/featured/headline.php?ID=1497

https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/column/51771/my-most-grievous-fault

https://williedoyle.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/rubrics-of-the-mass.pdf

https://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/the-mass/general-instruction-of-the-roman-missal/girm-chapter-4

Brandt Jean 18, Brother of Botham Jean Shows Forgiveness to Amber Guyger

To err is human and to forgive is divine. We have most likely heard this quote from Alexander Pope many times. It is very true. The Lord and teacher, Jesus Christ stressed forgiveness throughout His ministry on earth. In Matthew 6 verse 14 He tells us, "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you," and in another place (Matthew 18:22), He tells us to forgive seventy times seven. Forgiveness frees us from the effects of sin. What I mean by this is that forgiveness prevents us from being bitter, angry and vengeful. The natural response from fallen man is to be angry and take revenge when someone wrongs us. God's way is different and more civil. We have to forgive. This is why forgiveness is divine. It can be seen as defying human logic and this is because logic is finite and does not understand all things.

Many of us have been following the news on former police officer Amber Guyger. Guyger was charged, convicted and sentenced to ten years in prison recently for killing Botham Jean in his own apartment. The disgraced former police officer entered Jean's apartment believing it to be her own. Upon seeing Botham Jean, she thought he was a burglar and took out her service weapon firing at him several times. Jean passed away from the gunshots. Guyger is seen on police bodycam looking distressed after the shooting. However, she is also seen texting on a phone. During the trial, it was brought up that she was sexting with another police offer who is married and she was having an affair with.

Despite this, the brother of Botham Jean made a display at the sentencing which shocked many and brought Guyger and even the judge to tears. Brandt Jean, only 18-years-old took the witness stand and spoke to the woman who killed his brother. He said to her, "I know if you go to God and ask Him, He will forgive you. I love you just like anyone else and I'm not going to hope you rot and die. I personally want the best for you. I wasn't going to say this in front of my family, I don't even want you to go to jail. I want the best for you because I know that's exactly what Botham would want for you. Give your life to Christ. I think giving your life to Christ is the best thing Botham would want for you." The courtroom attendees gasped in shock. Then he asked the judge if he could hug Guyger. The judge granted permissions and Brandt proceeded to approach her and hugged her. Both embraced for a good while as Guyger broke down in tears. The judge also began to tear up.

THIS is the power of Jesus’ love. That forgiveness is possible for everyone. Marvel at this. For that is the only right response to the boundless love and forgiveness of God. #JesusLovesYou #forgiveness #AmberGuyger https://t.co/5IoAYx3eGX

— Tara Lynn Thompson (@TaraLynnSaid) October 3, 2019

The power of #forgiveness.

pic.twitter.com/T3yAvfbLB3

— Anna Paulina Luna (@realannapaulina) October 3, 2019

This was indeed a remarkable moment. This young man is truly a follower of Christ's words on forgiveness. The gesture is not one that many would take. Only those who truly believe in Jesus Christ and His words on forgiveness can do this. I applaud the young man for this. While I disagree with the "not going to jail" part, I do agree that we must forgive. Forgiveness does not mean that one must erase justice. We all have to pay for our wrongs. On social media, many took to the hashtag #Forgiveness to both praise Brandt and to politicize his gesture. It is disturbing reading the comments condemning the act of forgiveness. This shows the bitterness some people have. Others tried to put a racial spin to the event describing it as "tomfoolery." See the Hashtag:

https://twitter.com/search?q=%23Forgiveness&src=trend_click&pt=1179547756358037504


We have a lot of work to do to Christianize this world which is falling back to Paganism.  Look at all the tweets attacking the act of forgiveness and trivializing the event turning it into a race issue.



What do you think? Post your comments below on Disqus. Be sure to follow the rules for commenting.



Source:

https://www.yahoo.com/gma/jury-deciding-sentence-former-police-officer-amber-guyger-202841301--abc-news-topstories.html

https://abcnews.go.com/US/amber-guyger-convicted-murder-wrong-apartment-killing-innocent/story?id=65978073&cid=social_twitter_abcn

Detective Steven McDonald, Rest In Peace

Some say that heroes are made, not born. I am not sure if this is true or not, but I was glad to meet a real one. It was on a dark night in the Bronx. I was barely transitioning from atheism to Catholicism where I found myself at a parish in the Bronx. This parish was pastored by a very holy Mary-loving bishop who invited a visionary and mystic named Paola Albertini. This is the same one who the late Mother Angelica met and who brought about mother's healing by interceding to Our Lady.

While at the parish, I noticed a tall figure approaching from the back in a motorized wheelchair. This man looked familiar as he approached the sanctuary. It was Detective Steven McDonald. McDonald was on the news. I remember seeing him there. While fresh on the job as an NYPD officer, McDonald was shot on July 12, 1986 by and young teenager. This shooting left him quadriplegic. He forgave the shooter, Shavod Jones.  McDonald, a faithful Catholic, sought a miracle of his own. His faith brought him to see this mystic. She prayed over him, asked me and others present to join. I was amazed to see that McDonald moved his thigh a bit as he tried to get up, something not possible for a quadriplegic. Paola told him in Italian to have more faith. However, McDonald was visibly nervous. Perhaps he felt he would fall if he attempted to get up. In any event, he did not get up and walk around as Mother Angelica did, but the motion in his "dead" legs was enough to convince those present that God does work signs.

However, the real miracle I saw was McDonald's faith and humility. He was a gentle soul, accepting what happened to him with dignity and grace. In a time where cops are under suspicion, McDonald showed what a true officer should be like. All that know him personally say nothing ill of him because I do not think there was anything ill. The impression he gave me and others showed a very humble and prayerful man. This impression is validated by the actions McDonald performed publicly decades before.  In 1987, during his son's baptism, McDonald forgave his shooter saying, "I forgive him and hope that he can find peace and purpose in his life."  Moreover, McDonald even sent his shooter stamps and a box of stationery with a not that read, "Let's carry on a dialogue."  Shavod did keep a dialog, even calling  McDonald and apologizing to him and his family.  Shortly after, McDonald even met his shooter's mother and grandmother. All attended a Baptist church for prayer services.  Shavod, known on the streets as "Buddha," served nine years in prison. He was released in September 1995 before the Papal Visit of St. John Paul II in October 1995. McDonald and Shavod had hoped to work together against street violence; however, Shavod died of a freak motorcycle accident just three days after he was released from prison.  

McDonald was a man of peace. He even went to Northern Ireland and pleaded for peace between Catholics and Protestants there.  He spoke on many venues, even Catholics ones, speaking on forgiveness and mercy.  As Cardinal Dolan said, "Detective Steven McDonald was an icon of mercy."  His funeral Mass will be held at St. Patrick's Cathedral.  I feel fortunate to have met him years ago.  May he rest in peace.





Source:

http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/paralyzed-hero-nypd-detective-remains-critical-condition-article-1.2940024

http://www.newsday.com/long-island/nassau/steven-mcdonald-nypd-detective-remains-hospitalized-1.12891827

http://www.northjersey.com/story/news/2017/01/09/steven-mcdonald-paralyzed-nypd-detective-hospitalized/96336904/

http://pix11.com/2017/01/11/finally-free-of-a-respirator-steven-mcdonald-is-mourned-and-celebrated-in-rockville-centre/

http://www.newsday.com/long-island/nassau/hero-s-send-off-for-nypd-det-steven-mcdonald-begins-with-wake-1.12933096

https://www.yahoo.com/news/nypd-detective-steven-mcdonald-known-221300892.html

http://www.ncregister.com/blog/astagnaro/steven-mcdonald-nypd-detective-and-catholic-hero-dies-at-59

Brother's Keeper: Love & Forgiveness - 23rd Sunday of Ordinary Time

Today's readings are about admonishing the sinner and forgiveness.

The first reading is from Ezekiel and tells us of the mission of the prophet as one who judges what is good and evil and must convince the people to stay away from the latter.  He must be a "watchman" and guide, warning the people so that they hopefully will turn away from evil.

"With great power comes great responsibility"

You may be wondering, "Why is he quoting from Stan Lee who said that in the 'Spiderman' movie?"  Well first of all, this quote comes from the philosopher Voltaire, not Stan Lee. I mention this quote because it's related to the first reading. The Lord says,

“O wicked one, you shall surely die, ”
and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way,
the wicked shall die for his guilt,
but I will hold you responsible for his death.
But if you warn the wicked,
trying to turn him from his way,
and he refuses to turn from his way,
he shall die for his guilt,
but you shall save yourself."

Here, God is reminding the prophet that if he doesn't speak out to "dissuade the wicked" then the wicked will be punished, but the prophet will be responsible for that punishment which is in this case death.  This is important because we all are our brother's keeper. Cain disagreed with this important duty of ours, but God expects us to care for one another (Genesis 4:9). Unfortunately many times, we Catholics don't want to get involved. We let our family, friends and strangers fall into sin and leave them be. This is especially true regarding gay people we might know.  Instead of encouraging them to live as God does, we sometimes just let them live as if their lifestyle is justified in the eyes of God.

The same can be said in regards to abortion or helping others in general. We don't want to get Romans 15:14). If not, then the person will be punished for his or her sin (if he/she didn't change) and we will be responsible for not intervening. However, God says that if we do try to turn our friends away from wickedness and they refuse, then we will not be responsible because we tried and they didn't want to hear it. The key word here is TRIED.  Not everyone is going to listen to us, but the fact that we tried means a lot.

The responsorial Psalm replies to the first reading with the call to not harden our hearts if we hear His voice.  The Psalm recalls how God has always been there and that we should be grateful and not become stubborn and hard headed like the Hebrews at Massah who began to question and doubt God despite seeing the miracles He performed that wowed Egypt. This Psalm is important because how many times we hear God's voice, we go to Mass but still continue to sin.  Mass becomes a mere "obligation" and not a way of life. It becomes something we do on a weekend that we have to get over with quickly and then storm out of church and sin like there's no tomorrow.  This is not how it's supposed to be.

The second reading  reminds us that we owe nothing to anyone except that we have to love them. St. Paul even makes it clear that all the laws of God are summed into loving our neighbors as ourselves. If we love others, we will not disrespect our parents and those in authority, we will not disrespect or sin against our lovers, we will not steal from others, kill others, desire the goods or lovers of others. This make a lot of sense even in a secular sense.  If everyone on Earth loved each other, we would not need laws or punishments. There would be no need for courts, police, armies and all that stuff.

Finally in the Gospel, we read about how Jesus instructs His disciples on what to do when a brother sins against them.  These instructions apply to us as well.  We must tell our brother or the offender of his or her sin and work it out.  If he or she listens, then all is well.  However, if he or she does not want to hear it, then we must get others to join in and mediate the situation. If that does not work, we must even get the church involved.  However, if the church does not work, then this person must be left aside or excommunicated.  However, this does not mean he or she must be treated like trash or shunned like the Amish do who misinterpret the Scriptures.  Jesus then reminds the disciples of the authority they have to bind and unbind things.  In other words, they have the power to forgive sins. This Gospel tells us a lot about how the Church operates. The Church tries to reconcile people and when it does not work, she excommunicates them (2 Thessalonians 3:15). However, reconciliation is always on the table and the offender is always welcomed to come back, granted he or she changes his or her ways (Luke 17:3).

I understand there are some people who we just cannot stand. We want to push them down a flight or stairs or throw something at them; however, we must set aside those impulses and forgive.  We must love them as ourselves.  This doesn't mean we have to like them of what they do. Remember, God will reward you as the first reading tells us if we love one another and warn others of their wickedness even if they refuse to listen.  The problem will be their's not ours when they have to face God and account of their action or lack of action.  




Readings: http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/090714.cfm

Pope Francis Confronts Sex Abuse

Pope Francis has gotten media attention today for making off the cuff remarks on Vatican radio regarding the sex abuse scandals.  The Pope said:

"I feel compelled to personally take on all the evil which some priests -- quite a few in number, obviously not compared to the number of all the priests -- to personally ask for forgiveness for the damage they have done for having sexually abused children.  The church is aware of this damage, it is personal, moral damage carried out by men of the church, and we will not take one step backward with regards to how we will deal with this problem, and the sanctions that must be imposed.  On the contrary, we have to be even stronger. Because you cannot interfere with children."

Some say this has been the strongest statement made yet by Pope Francis since being elected to the Chair of Peter. However, SNAP and other critics are saying that they want to see more action and less words. They seem be suffering from memory lapse when it suits them because the Pope named a victim of sex abuse to a panel that will advise him on the matter of sex abuse and how to prevent it.

What more does SNAP want?  The Pope cannot arrest priests or prosecute them in civil courts. Snap's resources and time would be better spent pushing for investigations and changes to take place in other institutions.  The Catholic Church is the ONLY institution that is tackling this issue head on and out in the open. Boards of Education throughout the United States send abusive teachers to "rubber rooms" and do not have any policies that truly protect minors in their care.

Both Pope Francis and Benedict XVI have done more than anyone else on this issue.  





Source:

http://time.com/59389/pope-francis-asks-abuse-victims-for-forgiveness/

http://www.cnn.com/2014/04/11/world/europe/vatican-pope-sex-abuse/

St. Stephen - First Martyr and Deacon

Today is St. Stephen's feast day.

St. Stephen is an important figure in the Early Church.  He was the first to shed blood for the faith, or be a martyr. St. Stephen was the first or one of the first deacons ordained.

As the Catholic Church grew in numbers after Pentecost, the Apostles needed help to minister to them, especially the poor and widows. The diaconate was born. Today we have many men who are ordained deacons in order to help the Church in many ways.  

The story of St. Stephen is introduced in the Acts of the Apostles chapters 6 and 7.  In them, the miracles God worked through St. Stephen as well as his preaching and the drama of his enemies is presented.  Even after Christ's death and resurrection, Christ still had many enemies.  Christianity was seen as a plague - a threat to the status quo and human liberty.  Sounds like our times today right?

St. Stephen was slandered and rejected.  When brought before his enemies, they shouted at him and mocked him.  They refused to listen to his preaching about Christ.  In a rage, they dragged him outside of Jerusalem and stoned him to death.  As he was being stoned, St. Stephen prayed for mercy on the part of his attackers begging God not to punish them.

Stephen is a model for all Christians especially in times of persecution.  We must continue to preach Christ in season and out of season and not fear. (2 Timothy 4:2)  When we are attacked, mocked and hated; we must return these actions with love and prayer. (Matthew 5:43-45)


May St. Stephen pray for us all, especially those being persecuted and for deacons.    

Atheists can go to Heaven

Here we go again... the media has once again twisted Pope Francis' words into claiming that he said that atheists can go to Heaven without believing in God.

This of course is not so.  The story came about after letters were published where the Pope was writing to an atheist columnist named Dr. Scalfari.  In the letters, Dr. Scalfari asks the Pope a series of questions.  The Pope replies to them briefly and in one of the questions, mentions the reliance of conscience.  This is where the media and others jumped the gun.  They interpreted this as if the Pope said that our conscience decides our salvation.  Some Evangelicals fell for the media's word play as well, see:

http://www.shepherdpress.com/the-pope-declares-man-can-save-himself/
http://kirkcameron.com/2013/09/pope-declares-man-can-save/

What the Pope was referring to in the response were mercy and forgiveness.  If an atheist is good and in his/her last days asks for mercy or forgiveness, there is a possibility that he or she may go to heaven even if he/she never stepped foot in a church or ever prayed before this final conversion. See more here: Pope Francis Atheists Saved.

This is nothing new.  We see this in the Gospel with Jesus and St. Dismas, or the "good thief." (Luke 23:32-43)  Here we have a man who was far from God and in his last days was right next to Him.  He asked for forgiveness and Christ promised him that he would be in paradise.




Source:

http://ncronline.org/blogs/francis-chronicles/pope-francis-outreach-atheists-not-controversial-it-seems

http://www.news.com.au/world-news/pope-francis-writes-atheists-can-go-to-heaven/story-fndir2ev-1226717956078?from=public_rss

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/pope-francis-assures-atheists-you-dont-have-to-believe-in-god-to-go-to-heaven-8810062.html

"...“for all who draw the sword will die by the sword." Matthew 26:52

Most of us woke up to learn of the death of the dictator Muammar Gaddafi, also known as "the man of a thousand name spellings."   He was an autocrat who abused his power and violated the human rights of the Libyan people.  It is understandable to see Libyans celebrating his death.

However, we should never celebrate the death of anyone.  No matter how evil or sinful a person may be, we are not the judge of his soul; God is.  Killing people to exact revenge is not justice.  For every weed you kill, a thousand more will appear.  We all are guilty of sin and evil.  As Psalm 130:3 says, "Lord, if you kept a record of our sins, who, O Lord, could ever survive?"  


We must forgive always.  It is not easy to do, but in the end it shows true character and brings sincere peace.  Celebrating the death of anyone is mocking the life of God in that person since we all are made in God's image and likeness.  


Let us pray for Libya, its new government and people.  May God guide that country to create a system that works for the common good of all.   May God forgive the sins of Muammar Gaddafi and the sins of the entire world.