Did Jesus 'Diss' Mary in Matthew 12:46-50, Mark 3:31-35 & Luke 8:19-21?

In the synoptic Gospels—Matthew 12:46–50, Mark 3:31–35, and Luke 8:19–21—Jesus responds to the announcement of His mother and brothers seeking Him by declaring that those who do the will of God are His true family. This response has been interpreted by some as a dismissal of Mary, His mother, and His biological family.

However, a careful examination of the textual, historical, and theological context reveals that Jesus’ statement is not a rejection of Mary or His kin but an expansion of familial identity to include all who obey God’s will. This interpretation aligns with the broader theological theme of spiritual kinship in the New Testament, emphasizing inclusion in God’s family through faith and obedience.

Textual Analysis

In Matthew 12:46–50, while Jesus is teaching, His mother and brothers stand outside, seeking to speak with Him. Jesus responds, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” and, pointing to His disciples, says, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” (Matt. 12:48–50, NIV). Similarly, Mark 3:31–35 records Jesus saying, “Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother” (Mark 3:35, NIV). Luke 8:19–21 offers a parallel account, with Jesus stating, “My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice” (Luke 8:21, NIV).

At first glance, Jesus’ rhetorical question and redefinition of family might appear to marginalize Mary and His biological relatives. However, the absence of any explicit rebuke or negative language about Mary suggests otherwise. Instead, Jesus uses the moment to teach a broader theological truth. As Nolland (2005) observes in his commentary on Matthew, “Jesus is not denying the significance of His biological family but is rather extending the concept of family to include those who share in His mission and obedience to God” (p. 515). The inclusive language of “brother, sister, and mother” elevates the status of His followers, aligning them with the intimate familial roles traditionally reserved for biological kin.

Historical and Cultural Context

In first-century Jewish culture, family ties were central to social identity and religious life. To redefine family in spiritual terms was a radical yet inclusive move by Jesus, reflecting the eschatological reorientation of relationships in the Kingdom of God. Keener (1999) notes that Jesus’ statement reflects a “new community of faith” where “spiritual bonds supersede but do not negate biological ones” (p. 374). Mary, as depicted in the Gospels, is consistently portrayed as a faithful servant of God. In Luke 1:38, she responds to the Annunciation with, “I am the Lord’s servant. May your word to me be fulfilled” (NIV), demonstrating her alignment with God’s will. Thus, far from dismissing Mary, Jesus’ statement implicitly includes her as a model of obedience, as she exemplifies the very criterion He establishes for spiritual kinship.

The cultural expectation of honoring one’s parents (Exod. 20:12) further supports the view that Jesus does not intend to dishonor Mary. France (2007) argues that “Jesus’ words affirm rather than negate Mary’s status, as her life of faith places her squarely within the redefined family of God” (p. 490). By emphasizing obedience to God’s will, Jesus elevates Mary’s spiritual role while extending the same honor to all who follow God.

Theological Implications

Theologically, Jesus’ redefinition of family underscores the universal call to discipleship and inclusion in God’s covenant community. The New Testament frequently employs familial language to describe the relationship between believers and God (e.g., Rom. 8:15–17; Gal. 4:4–7). In this context, Jesus’ statement aligns with the broader biblical narrative of adoption into God’s family through faith. As Blomberg (1992) explains, “The true family of Jesus consists of those who respond to God’s call with obedience, a category that includes Mary but extends beyond her to all who follow God’s will” (p. 208).

This interpretation is reinforced by the portrayal of Mary elsewhere in the Gospels. In John 19:25–27, Jesus entrusts Mary to the care of the beloved disciple, indicating His continued care for her. Additionally, Acts 1:14 depicts Mary among the disciples praying after the Ascension, suggesting her active participation in the early Christian community. These passages affirm that Mary remains within the circle of those who do God’s will, consistent with Jesus’ teaching in the synoptic accounts.

The Bible verses where Jesus speaks about those who do the will of His Father being His mother and brothers are found in the following passages:

- Matthew 12:46-50 (NIV): While Jesus was still talking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, wanting to speak to him. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to speak to you.” He replied to him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Pointing to his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” - Mark 3:31-35 (NIV): Then Jesus’ mother and brothers arrived. Standing outside, they sent someone in to call him. A crowd was sitting around him, and they told him, “Your mother and brothers are outside looking for you.” “Who are my mother and my brothers?” he asked. Then he looked at those seated in a circle around him and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.” - Luke 8:19-21 (NIV): Now Jesus’ mother and brothers came to see him, but they were not able to get near him because of the crowd. Someone told him, “Your mother and brothers are standing outside, wanting to see you.” He replied, “My mother and brothers are those who hear God’s word and put it into practice.” These passages emphasize that Jesus considers those who follow God’s will to be His true family, highlighting a spiritual kinship over biological ties.

The Meaning of Spiritual Kinship

Jesus’ declaration that “whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” (Matt. 12:50) conveys a profound theological truth: obedience to God creates a spiritual family that transcends biological ties. This does not diminish Mary’s unique role as the mother of Jesus or her faithfulness but rather includes her as a paradigm of discipleship. As Stein (1996) notes, “Mary is not excluded but is instead the archetype of those who hear and obey God’s word” (p. 245). By following God’s will, believers are adopted into a divine family, sharing the same spiritual intimacy with Jesus as His earthly family.

This teaching has practical implications for Christian community. It emphasizes that faith and obedience, rather than lineage or status, define membership in God’s family. As Green (1997) observes in his commentary on Luke, “Jesus’ redefinition of family creates a community where all who obey God are united as kin, fostering a sense of belonging and mutual responsibility” (p. 336). This inclusive vision invites all people to participate in God’s redemptive plan through faithful obedience.

Conclusion

In Matthew 12:46–50, Mark 3:31–35, and Luke 8:19–21, Jesus does not dismiss Mary or His biological family but redefines family to include all who do God’s will. This teaching affirms Mary’s exemplary faith while extending the privilege of spiritual kinship to all believers. Far from a rejection, Jesus’ words elevate Mary as a model of obedience and invite others to join her in the family of God. Through faith and submission to God’s will, believers become brothers, sisters, and mothers to Jesus, united in a divine community that transcends earthly ties.

References

Blomberg, C. L. (1992). Matthew (New American Commentary). Nashville, TN: Broadman Press.

France, R. T. (2007). The Gospel of Matthew (New International Commentary on the New Testament). Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans.

Green, J. B. (1997). The Gospel of Luke (New International Commentary on the New Testament). Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans.

Keener, C. S. (1999). A Commentary on the Gospel of Matthew. Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans.

Nolland, J. (2005). The Gospel of Matthew (New International Greek Testament Commentary). Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans.

Stein, R. H. (1996). Jesus the Messiah: A Survey of the Life of Christ. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.